TL;DR

Hi!

Damn. A LOT has happened in the 6 months that's passed since the last post I did. Too much to cover in one post, so I won't write about it. This has always been about what's going on with me now rather than something that has happened months ago. Either way, I thought it was time to write another post.

The hard part is where to begin. I need some kind of ice breaker.

I don't have much to say other than I'm ending the blog indefinitely. I know I could have easily just left it dormant and continued to not touch it, but I think one final wrap-up post is necessary.

There are a lot of reasons why I'm ending the blog. It also ties in with the short lived Vlog series I tried at the end of August. My main concern whenever I post a Facebook status, a tweet, a blog post, a vlog, or anything else on the internet is always the same simple question: "Who is going to read this or watch this and care about what I have to say?" There have been many statuses, tweets, and vlogs I deleted before many people could see because I don't think many people care about what I have to say, which is why I usually stick to sarcastic and funny statuses compared to what I did that day and how I'm feeling.

Another thing is that I had really long vlogs, most of them ranging from 8 - 12 minutes long each. I had people ask me when I was doing the vlogs "How can you talk to yourself in front of a camera for 11 minutes?" to which they followed up that they didn't watch the entire video. I don't blame them. I realized that even for my favorite YouTubers, I don't have the attention span to watch their 12 minute vlogs. Same thing happens with long articles or other blogs. If it's too long, I'll start skipping around and skimming, not thoroughly reading them. My blogs have been like that too, where they were really long and I know for a fact people didn't read them completely. Not saying everyone, but people have told me they do that.

Which brings me to my point: If I don't even have the attention span to pay attention to long blog posts or long vlogs from my favorite YouTubers, why should I expect people to give me that attention when all I'm talking about what's happening in this small city in NH. The answer: I shouldn't expect people to. People won't care. I'm Exhibit A when it comes to this idea. I seem to be more interested when I see a TL;DR (Too long, didn't read) at the top of a long article or post.

Another reason I lost interest in the blog is because literally overnight, I went from a happy journalism major to waking up the next morning realizing I wasn't enjoying writing at all. So last semester was a struggle to keep my interest in my journalism class. That, mixed with trying to figure out what I really wanted my major to be, I was/am still very confused.

That's the best word to use to describe me right now. Confused. I'm confused about everything about my life.

I'm a completely different person than I was 6 months ago, yet I have no idea who I am. I'm going through a personal struggle of finding out who Nicolas Garrity actually is. What do I want to be? What do I want people to know me by? What do I want people to think of me? The list of questions I've been asking myself goes on, but I'm not the same person I was before.

I've changed majors, I'm single, and I'm not really happy with what's going on in my life. I'm unhappy about how I don't know what I'm doing with my life, unhappy about my weight, and unhappy about not knowing who I am. I'm trying to find out who New Nick is compared to the Old Nick from 6 months ago. The thing is I still have no idea what New Nick is like.

I'm trying a few things to find out who New Nick is though. I'm in the process of making a bucket list that I want to start as soon as possible and I'm gonna start going to the gym & eating healthier. I'm trying new things to see what I'm interested in, like I'm writing a script for a potential movie I want to film when I get back home.

I'm taking this time to concentrate on me and being happy with myself. I may do this again in the future, but I'm not planning on it anytime soon. I really am interested in staying connected, which is why I am planning on working on the script and hopefully making that film a reality. I love the idea of YouTube and I'm still interested in getting myself involved with it, but for now I'm going to do what makes me happy & figure out who I am. YouTube can come later.

Thank you to everyone who has read these posts, over 2,600 views over 49 posts including this one. Thank you to those of you who liked my vlogs, who like my witty and punny Facebook statuses and tweets, and everyone who has showed interest in what I publish. It really means a lot when you guys show your appreciation, criticisms, and opinions. That's why I did/do all of these things, so I can connect with an audience. Twitter has been called "Shouting into a completely dark room hoping someone is listening" which I feel applies to a lot of social sites, but the reason I use Facebook, Twitter, blogs and YouTube is to be connected to anyone willing to listen and shout back, and for that, I thank you.

TL;DR version:
TL;DR is the reason why I'm done writing these blog posts.

-Nick