Slowbros Before Hos

I didn’t wanna do this, but this is gonna be a little “gamer” post. You’ll see.

So I can’t find my damn Pokemon cards! What the fuck?! All I want to do is play Pokemon cards with Allie and maybe Justin and Ryan if they get decks. But NO I CAN’T.  Pissed. I guess I’ll just have to stick with playing the card game online or stick to playing Magic.

Speaking of Magic, I’m into Magic now. College changes people. When I visited Keene last spring, Justin, Ryan, their roommate Andrew and another kid were plaing Magic: The Gathering and my thoughts were “Psh, Magic. Lame.” But it’s so much fun. It’s addicting. I went like 3 days without playing the guys and I was having withdrawals. We called it Manarexia. You need to play Magic to get why that’s funny. But it is.

I got the Rezurrection map pack for Call of Duty: Black Ops, or as I like to call it, Blops. It’s awesome. 5 zombie maps including the 4 from World at War and a new one, Moon. Moon is insane. It’s ridiculously hard. You start off at Area 51 in “No Man’s Land” where the Pack-A-Punch machine is and after about 45 seconds a buzzer goes off and any zombies slowly walking around you for the easy kills go, how you say, BAT SHIT CRAZY. It’s impressive if you last 3 minutes in No Man’s Land before you teleport to the moon (if you survive that long.) I can last pretty long on the other maps. My record is 26 on Kino. But I start getting stressed out on round 6 on Moon! The biggest difficulty for me on Moon isn’t just surviving, but surviving after the Nova crawlers start appearing. Why? They teleport.  WHY? I don’t know. But they will be crawling and they teleport 10 feet and they’re at your feet hitting you and you go down. Um, fuck that shit!

I have so many games I need to play. I have $20 on my PSN so I’m going to spend that but after that I vow to not buy any more games until I beat/100%/Platinum 3 more games. Then if I have the money I’ll buy another. But I literally have almost 80 games downloaded on  my PS3, 50 I’ve never touched, and another 12 games on disks I haven’t touched or have barely started. Like all of Metroid Prime Trilogy, Assassin’s Creed 2, Fallout 3 (if I start that there goes 100+ hours of my life), Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection, Rachet and Clank Future: A Crack In Time, I want to platinum Infamous (76% there!) and dozens of others. Every time I go into Walmart or Gamestop I’m always tempted to buy more but I can’t.

More blog posts to come! They won’t all be me nerding all over the place. But I might make this a weekly thing. Thanks for reading! 

Back in the 603. Feels like I never left.

Cuz I didn’t. How’s it going internet? Last night I came back to Nashua because I needed to do a classroom observation for my Sociology class so today I went to my high school to observe my AP Psych teacher. Did that for about an hour and a half. I took 5 pages on notes on everything that happened in the class. 5 pages?! If I EVER did that in any of my high school classes I would have been such a better student.  Then I spent another hour hunting down old teachers. I got a lot of “Hey!! How are you? How’ve you been? How’s school?” with the occasional “What the hell are you doing here?” (Thanks, Rodriguez) But overall it was great to see all my old teachers again. It was really different talking to them when I’m not a student there anymore. It’s a lot more casual and I felt like I could speak more openly about whatever I wanted. They’re adults, they were our age before.

My freshman social studies teacher and I were talking about how college can be crazy because people don’t know how to control themselves. I said I know that Keene is a party school, in which she replied “Every school in New Hampshire is a party school.” Truer words have never been spoken. But the fact that people feel the need to go out literally every single night and get drunk, regardless of whether they have classes or not (and especially the ones that go out and get drunk then need to go to their 8am class) is absolutely ridiculous. My teacher also said she went to an all teachers conference and there were teachers hooking up and having affairs with each other.

Um, what?

These are our educators and they are knocking the boots with each other. It’s as if they think its college again. It’s not.  I know this is kind of unoriginal and kind of lame but they should act as role models for students, honestly. I know they have their own personal lives and they can do whatever they hell they want (or whoever the hell they want, though frowned upon) but you’re not in college anymore. That’s what we college educated members of society call a “no-no.”

Speaking of sex! As I was talking with my former Journalism teacher, Rodriguez, he was with a substitute who I’ve had a few times who would let us call him by his first name Kevin. After I told them I was at Keene, Kevin told us that Keene State where the most number of sexually transmitted diseases are contracted in New Hampshire schools. To which I calmly replied “OH MY GOD! AH!”

As I’m writing this I’m on my way back home, happily accompanied next to my guitar. I left it home when I first left for college because I wasn’t sure if I’d have room. I didn’t. But since I changed rooms from my old room I actually have room now so I’ll find a place to stick it. I’ve been having withdrawls from it. I’ve wanted to play it for so long but I haven’t had it in over a month.

So I asked my mom one of the most awkward questions I’ve ever asked her since “Where do babies come from?” and that was “Was I planned?” The way the whole conversation started was as follows:

“Mom I have a really awkward question and…”

“Oh god…”

“Don’t worry it’s not too bad and I think I have a right to know. Was I planned?” She immediately said yes. I’m honestly not sure how I would have felt if I wasn’t planned. She did say that there was a time after my parents got married that they never wanted to have kids. They waited 8 years to have me, but I was planned.

I know this is a long blog, but it’s been a few days. Don’t complain, you signed up for this.

On one final note, I was texting Allie and she asked when I’d be back at Keene. I told her “I don’t know when I’ll be home” and she said “You’re not home?” I realized I called Keene “home.” Whoa. Not sure what to say about that. I have been living there for over a month and I’m loving it, but I was not expecting to call it home. I almost have a few times before but always caught myself because I know its not home.

That’s about it for this entry. Thanks for sticking around. I love you. I would say in the least awkward way possible. But no.

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

I'm in my intro to Criminal Justice class. They should really call it 2 1/2 hours of Facebook, Twitter, trying to figure out Tumblr, checking my fantasy football team, and writing a blog post.

We're talking about the point of having. I'm acting like I'm very interested but this class is so simple. We're going over terms and info we already know. He discussed what a robbery was last week. Wanna know what an alibi is? I couldn't tell you, I was on Facebook while he was describing it. There are other things he's teaching us that I didn't know. Like the difference between a felony and a misdemeanor (seriousness of the offence and how much jail time you could get) or the difference between assault and battery (threatening to and actually hitting someone, respectively.) But the way my professor teaches us, he will write the words on the board, then expand on it. So the only notes I have look like this:

• Functions of the police
• enforce laws
• apprehend offenders
• prevent crime
• preserve peace
• community services/outreach

Very basic stuff. The good thing is as I keep looking up I am retaining what he's saying. It's a win-win.

Another thing about this class. We were talking earlier about how the death of Osama Bin Laden had such an impact on our country. I was driving back from my girlfriends house when I got a tweet to my phone from Philip Defranco saying he was found and killed. This was one of the events our country experiences when we all remember where we were when we found out the news. I remember, even though it was only a few months ago, that I spent the rest of the night witnessing history by watching the President speak and watching the news about it. 4/5 of the TV channels were talking about it. It's just cool in a sense to know that I witnessed history and I remember it vividly.

I've been on a real techno/dubstep kick lately. I've been listening to a lot of Skrillex, deadmau5 and other dubstep remixes I can find on YouTube. I especially like that one dubstep song that goes "WUB WUB WUB WUB WUUUUUB" you know that one?

Speaking of deadmau5, I'm already thinking about my Halloween costume. I've told a few people but I really want to make a deadmau5 head. Not just buy, but make one. I feel like it would be cheaper to make one on my own. We'll see if I stick with this plan.

That's it for me. I'll probably post tomorrow seeing as I don't have any classes. I get so much shit for that!

Peace

Kris Bartol

Kris with a K. Kris Con Un K. Kris Bartol. Kris. A man of many names. (aka Multiple Personality Disorder, but that's beside the point) Kris is, how you say, my best friend. We shared laughs, we traded insults, he's tried to kick me out of his house (and any other building we're in together...) many times by telling me where the door is. Either way, he's my best friend and I miss him.

He's off at OSU, and I'm here at KSC. Sucks not being able to hang with him whenever I want to like I used to be able to. My texts would be along the lines of "KRIS. ZOMBIES. NOW." And he'd be over in 5 minutes. We'd kill some Zombitches and have a jolly good time. But those times are over 8[ (until Thanksgiving.)

I met him in preschool, didn't meet him again til 6th grade. We find the stupidest things funny to the point where we've done stuff that has left me lying on the floor crying because I was laughing so hard.

To the countless number of zombies we've killed, the countless number of hours we've spent on Call of Duty, the countless number of times we've seen all of the Epic Rap Battles of History (and can recite them all and remake the battles) and to the countless number of times we've hung out, this all is proof that he's my best friend and that I wish he was in New Hampshire or I was in Ohio.

Miss you, man
See you at Thanksgiving

It's 1 am. Can't think of a creative title. Sue me.

So today was the first day of MVP training (Mentors in Violence Prevention) and I'm wiped. It was only 4 hours long and for the next two days its going to be 10 - 5 Saturday and Sunday. Woot. I'm glad I'm doing it but the whole training process is going to drain the life out of me. We'll see if I'll have the energy or mental ability to write full sentences during or after this weekend.

So my apologies for not updating this as much my buddy Kris. (check out his blog at winsiestocoolzaurs.blogspot.com) (Kris you owe me for that plug) But I'll try and update more often.

So I've been using Google+ a lot lately and I'm thinking that judging by the way people are flocking over to it already and by the way Facebook is getting even more complicated, give it 6 months to a year and Facebook will be dead. Google+ is a lot simpler and that's what we need is just a simple social networking site. Like the way Facebook used to be.

Moving on. This blog is called I'm Hilarious so I should at least try to be funny even though it's 1am...poop.

Haha I said poop.

Good Night.

Keene State wants to know about your sex life!

Today I was filling out a "Wellness Survey" for Keene and some of the questions were absolutely ridiculous. They were asking me like "Within the LAST 30 DAYS, on how many days did you use amphetamines? Cigarettes? Cocaine? Marijuana? Drive after drinking?" Then there was "Within the LAST 30 DAYS, if you are sexually active, how often did you have oral sex? Vaginal sex? Anal sex?" Do you guys want to know what I ate today? How about my mother's maiden name? Oh, I know! Here's the name of my first grade teacher. The point I'm trying to make is why do they care about all this? It's an anonymous survey. Why do you need to know how many Keene students are having anal sex?


Moving on, I've been feeling really nostalgic lately. I miss the 90s. It was a simpler time. I've been playing the Pokemon Trading Card Game online and it's reminded me of playing when I was 7. That made me think about playing Yu-Gi-Oh, watching Boy Meets World, drinking Tang, gel pens were cool, Britney Spears before her bat-shit crazy mental meltdown and girls had cooties. Ah, the good ol' days. It's gotten to the point where I want to go home, grab the single Pokemon card deck I have, and bringing it back to school and/or going out and buying a new deck so I can play my friends. As Allie said yesterday, "Fuck homework, I'm playing Pokemon." That's my girl!


That's about it for today. I'm quite happy with the way this blog is going so far. Off to a good start, Almost 70 views in over a week. Keep up the reading, tell your friends, and I'll love you forever <3

Later!

My Room Smells like Clean Linens, Crisp Waters, Wild Berries and Honey, and Ass.

I'm naked. There's a breeze and I can't tell if I like it or not. I'm not used to feeling like this especially since I'm at college and I feel like people are looking at me differently. Allie, my girlfriend, even wor I am, of course, talking about how I had to shave my beard the other day. What did you have in mind? May it rest in peace.

RIP Nick's facial hair. Sept. 5, 2011 - Sept. 15, 2011

8[

Anyway, it was my birthday yesterday. 19 years young. Oh how the years fly by. It seems just like yesterday I was a young college kid just living day to day. How things have changed. Honestly though it didn't feel any different or any more special than any other day. Not getting any gifts because I've already gotten them from my parents last weekend. The only thing that's really different about today is that I got 90+ Facebook birthday wished that are being sent to my phone so my phone didn't stop going off all day! XD

Also, my room smells awful. I've been buying air fresheners (one plug in and two cans) and it still can't cover the smell of ass and BO in my room. Not much more I can do about it. I've been living in Allie's room for the past week since I can't stand being in there. I don't know, we'll see what happens.

Not much more to talk about. But I don't want to stop writing with some abrupt ending. I'm sure there is still so much to talk about that I can't think of.
The End.

How much do polar bears weigh? Enough to break the ice

Hey, I'm Nick. I came to the conclusion that I tweet enough random shit that I should at least put it somewhere in paragraph form.

This is better because I can use more than 140 characters and I don't have to space out everything I need to say into seperate tweets.

Of course Twitter has its perks and I will still tweet the hell out of it. This is just better for elaboration on my thoughts.

Also, anytime I have something funny, like a punch line to a joke, I don't feel the need to hashtag here like on Twitter.

This is just going to take some getting used to. You know, writing like an actual person instead of tweeting all my thoughts.

A lot of getting used to. #seewhatididhere #imakejoke

Follow me on Twitter! @NickGarrity